Saturday, September 15, 2007

What target are you aiming for?

I recently came across a book I ordered earlier this year. It is called 'What Every Child Should Know Along the Way' by Gail Martin. I began reading it once again. It was just what I was looking for, regarding raising my kids. I have been wanting a Bible teaching to add to our Home School day. This book is full of ideas on sharing Christ with our kids. I came across this list and it really made me wonder how I am doing:
Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children

  1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
  2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute. It will also encourage him to pick up "cuter" phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.
  3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he is 21 and then let him decide for himself.
  4. Avoid use of the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
  5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around (books, shoes, and clothing). Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on to others.
  6. Let him read any printed material he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
  7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way he will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
  8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
  9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial of his desires may lead to harmful frustration.
  10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
  11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."
  12. Prepare for a life of grief.
It isn't always the BIG mistake that gets us off track. It can be little foxes. The bad thing about a little fox is that they are so easy to overlook. For instance, at first I did not see what was wrong with #9. What is so wrong with giving them what THEY want to eat or drink?? Well, we had a time, (very recently) when we were cooking our meal and 2 mini-meals. My kids would not eat what we made for dinner and we were more concerned with them eating, so we had 3 meals at dinner time. That was not beneficial to any of us. It only made them more demanding and defiant in other areas. We finally have all of us on the same meal, but we still struggle with my son eating willingly. I now see the benefit of not letting them choose all of their meals. If we go to McD's, they DO choose whether they eat nuggets or burgers, but they do not control our meals anymore.

One of the main points, being made in the book, is that we are called to 'Aim our children straight as arrows'. They do not know the way they should go. We are the ones aiming them. It is wise for us to know where we are aiming our child. Shooting aimlessly will create a dismal result - delinquent children. With focus and a steady aim, we can lead them to have a relationship with Christ. She uses the Scripture 'Like arrows in the hands of a warrior...' Psalm 127:4.

This book has impressed me, thus far. It speaks to creating Dynamic Devotions, creating Family Unity, using Gifts and Talents, great Biblical Character Traits, having Manners, Practical living skills, and Personal Safety. I can tell you that I am challenged to raise my focus and to aim my arrows (kids) more carefully at the target (Christ). I am seeking Him in how that looks for my family. What will draw my kids closer to their Savior? I do not know. I can aim them towards the mark, then God can draw them to Himself. If I do not take the time to aim them, I may miss the target completely. What a huge responsibility. It is possible to accomplish this goal, but only if I remain in close relationship with Christ. My job, and hubby's job, is to keep on track with seeking our Savior and the rest is God's job. We must be willing to take the first step and He will show us how to draw our children to Him.


chickadee said...

that sounds like a great book. thanks for reviewing it. i'm going to have to check it out.

Tarrah said...

That sounds like a great book! I have read that list somewhere before but it's been a while. Thank you for sharing, I will check it out

diana said...

great post. sounds like a good book.

#3 always concerns me. i know people who have taken this approach. no exposure to God or church because they want their kids to make up their own mind about their spirituality. it would be laughable if it weren't so sad.

Momma Roar said...

Always love to know about good books! Thanks!

#3 was definately me growing up. I'm thankful my hubby's parents were praying for their son's future wife way back then!!

crasberry said...

I look forward to reading this one...Thanks

Lori said...

Sounds like a great book.
I will have to check into it.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great book! You are such an inspiration!

oh amanda said...

Wow! I agree with all that! Kids are blank canvases...little lumps of clay. Parents are the ones that get to direct how they develop! What a responsibility!

Anonymous said...

Love this. Thanks for sharing!

MorningSong said...

Thanks ladies! I always love finding Godly books that give me new ideas. I think raising kids is tough, not to mention raising them on purpose!!