Wednesday, September 12, 2007

SuperMom or SlackerMom? Just call me Mom.

So, this week I thought I would ask a question: Do you ever feel like a slacker mom?

I think we all do.

So much we are "supposed" to do - love our kids no matter what, feed them healthy food, listen to their every word, take them wherever they wish to go, determine when they are actually lying, catch every sneaky act, point them to the Lord every day, take advantage of those teachable moments, push them when they need it - but not too much, reach their hearts with our discipline, never yell, never lose our tempers, never show them any impatience, teach them to make the right choices, make sure they look "cute", make sure they never act up, make sure they are respectful at every moment, always expect first-time obedience, enjoy every little moment, keep a perfect house, make sure they fulfill their potential - and I'm quite sure I left out a few hundred things. And don't get me started on the wife "supposed" to list: confidante, chef, model looks, ... well, you know the rest, I'm sure.

I believe in high expectations. For ourselves. For our children. I think it's biblical and I'm not knocking the goal.

But, I am concerned that some may think that we here at Multi-tasking moms are in the "SuperMom" category. And I sincerely feel that I need to address that - at least for myself.

I am so NOT a SuperMom. I do some things really well - I can turn out a mean schedule and sometimes it actually works! And, I can almost always help you figure out how to do more in less time. How to get more things done, and how to do that with less stress. I can organize an office, a file, a pretty good birthday party. What is the saying "Necessity is the mother of invention"? Well, organization in my life with homeschooling and a business is absolutely necessary - so I've discovered some things that work. For me.

So, here's my true confessions - knocking myself off the Supermom pedestal. Because I firmly believe that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and if I'm strong in the "organizational" category and you are not - I can guarantee you that you do something well that I am a total "slacker" about.

Yes, I have a 6 week meal plan, a daily schedule for every 15 minutes, a cleaning schedule, a daily to-do list, a homeschool "plan".

But, also:

I have a cleaning company every other week - and if I care about your opinion of my house - no you may not come over. Trust me.

My house is decorated in "very lived in." And that's phrasing it nicely.

I have a picture frame that has hung on my staircase for 2 years with no picture in it.

You cannot walk in my daughter's room.

I let my daughter choose her own clothes - and it shows.

I let my daughter fix her own hair - and it definitely shows.

I rarely do the evening's dishes that night - I'm too tired.

I never have time to just sit and watch TV with my husband, and I think he misses that.

If you don't see me write on my to-do list in my computer, it won't happen.

I never get enough sleep.

I only need my glasses to drive, and I can never find them.

We are frequently late. (usually because I cannot find my glasses - which I need to drive, remember?)

I cannot drive and do anything else at the same time. Can't even talk. How I wish I could take advantage of those "deep" conversations that my kids always seem to want to have - in the car. When I am trying to drive. Trying to, you know, not kill us.

There's more, but that's all the self-exposure I can handle in one conversation.

I only have 2 children. I homeschool - which means they are with me all day every day. And there are more days than I would like to admit that I get to the end of the day and realize that I have not once looked into their eyes that day and actually, truly listened to an entire sentence.

And I can guarantee you that when they are grown - listening or playing a game with them now is more important than anything else.

And, that, my friends is the whole point FOR ME of organization. If I don't have to think about dinner - then I can spend that few minutes doing something worthwhile. Lasting. Meaningful. If organization does that do that for you, but instead adds another "expectation" to your list, then DO NOT organize another thing. It is not worth it.

So, please don't think of me as a supermom. You may think of me as a mom a little farther down the path. You may think of me as a mom with different gifts from God. Please think of me as the mom with a few good ideas.

But please don't think of me as a supermom.


Just Mom said...

Excellent post, WeaverMom. :-D

By the way, I wrote a similar one. Great minds think alike.

Wendy said...

Okay, in all honesty...that post makes me feel so much better. It's been hard sometimes lately to remind myself that the Supermom I expect myself to be is not the Supermom my children see in me. If I can be there for them, and make the most of the moments I'm blessed to have with them now, then so what if the dishes wait? (And thanks for mentioning that, I thought I was the only one too tired to do dishes!) :)

Lisa H said...

That was a pretty great post! I could relate to most of your list! :) It's nice to know that we're all in the same boat...trying to do the best we can for our kids!

Heidi Jo said...

i have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. i am indeed a supermom and i have the cape to prove it.

i can not imagine what your inspiration for this post was:0)

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

I really needed to read that this morning - I've been having a hard time feeling like I can't manage everything lately... My oldest daughter needs a level of organization in her life that I'm just not capable of right now and it's hard to realize that.

diana said...

my philosophy has always been: less means more, meaning the less i do, the more time i have. time to put something spontaneous into the schedule (not that i kept one) or to do something like getting down on the floor to play legos with the kids.

i agree with you, super mom is a myth. strive to do things well, but don't try to do it all - and all in one day. spread out things during the week. and remember that your priority is your kids and husband.

Tarrah said...

Great post! We all need to remember that we can't do it all and that is OK. Life has been crazy here and Abriella has been allowed to watch 3 movies instead of 1 or 2 and I have been freeling bad about that. But I have come to realize that it's ok right now at this point in our lives

And by the way, she's watching bible story movies not cartoons or anything bad, so It's OK :)

kdwhorses said...

What a great post. Sometimes we just need to slow down and take a break. I have left the dishes dirty overnight, the laundry to other day, it is alwasy there in the morning! I want my daughter to feel the love I have for her and that is very important at the end of the day.

Highday said...

I loved reading that- the picture frame w/ no picture! Great job keeping things real. :)I just wrote on a similar topic at my blog. NO one is Supermom- we all have our weaknesses.

Well, except for Heidi Jo. (See her comment above- lol!)

Nice job. Dawnelle

Momma Roar said...

Excellent post! This is a good reminder for all of us.

I think the concept behind this blog is awesome - we each have areas our strength and we can share our strengths to help one another. It isn't a competition of "I can do this" and "You can't." But an "Let me help you with what I've learned" type thing!

Amber said...

Great post WeaverMom!!!

I can honestly say, I'm FAR from being a SuperMom. I just strive to be the best mom I can be and if that me and dirty dishes in the sink, toys all over the floor, and beds unmade so be it. Now that the children are older they lift a helping hand, but there are still BUMPY days!!!!

God Bless,

Penless Thoughts said...

EXCELLENT. Add that to your accomplishments! I, as you know, treasure honesty and you were certainly that here Weaver Mom. Not a super-mom....but a wonderful mom!!!

Mississippi Songbird said...

Oh yeah. I feel like a slacker mom alot. Especially since my husband is a trucker and only home a couple of days each week.
Great post. Thanks

tAnYeTTa said...

perfect post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeannie said...

All to often us women compares ourselves to each other, and instead of embracing we resort to that "superficial" persona of thinking so and so is super mom or perfect and that life must be greenier, hey that maybe so, grass could be greener because it requires more ferilizer

Lori said...

Awesome. Awesome post.
So unfair of people to think that way of us.

I so totally agree with you.
Just because we may be organized in one area we may lack in another area.
I am not perfect by any means. I am no super mom either. I just try to do my best.

Anonymous said...

Oh, what a wonderful and honest post. I often feel in the whole blogosphere that I am not have of what some women portry to be. Thanks for this!

I am going to be posting your link on my blog to this post.