Keeping Your Fashion in Mind

Once upon a time I was a twenty something who cared about what was in and out of fashion. I am sure I wasn't the perfect model of what to wear but I had a clue. Then I was a wife and I still had a fashion sense, and the freedom to shop for me. (The good ole days.) Then came the day I was given the title of Mommy. My focus was on baby clothes, baby gadgets, diaper bags, baby toys, and this dynamic continued through every stage my daughter faced. Every growth spurt demanded more clothes. Sure, I was in need of an updated outfit or two, but who has time for an outfit or two when your newborn child is outgrowing her clothes. Plus, it is so fun to shop for your baby!! I mean really - the clothes are SOOO cute.

Thanks to a second pregnancy, the demands of life and the passage of time I now wonder... "What happened to my wardrobe?!!" How did my shoes become so out?? I know there are some moms who sport stilettos while running in the park with their kids, but I am NOT that mom. I find myself in over sized t-shirts and jeans or elastic waisted pants. Last year I finally bought a few pair of the jeans with flared legs to only read in the latest fashion magazine that straight legged jeans are back! This can be exhausting.

I have tried to buy a few key staples, with every season, so that at least a few of my outfits are not "from the 90's". Unfortunately I cannot keep up with trends like I used to. What to do??? How can we keep our kids clothed (since they seem to outgrow everything every 6 months) while maintaining a little style of our own??

My solution is to buy a few key pieces every season. I tend to be at the park or on play dates more than I am around professionally dressed people, so I look for bargains on the latest casual wear. I make a run, and I do mean a run, for a bargain store. I grab 3 or 4 tops and then head to the register. I still wear my flare legged jeans and my sweat pants with these tops and I feel great! I buy a pair of shoes, when I find something practical, and when I am really up for a splurge I buy an entire outfit.

But I must warn you, since we have limited time for us - beware of the juniors section. Nothing is more infuriating than to buy a Medium top KNOWING it will fit, to only find that you are now dressed like a hussy. They should put a Jr-M or something in the tag. I do NOT have time to find a shirt I like AND try it on in the store. Most of the time I have my kids with me and I am lucky to find something I like. :) The same goes for pants. I have found a Jr. size pant thinking it was a normal size I wear and brought it home devastated that I couldn't get it past my thighs. :) They (the junior sizes) need to have a neon green tag in the clothes so we will KNOW when we are in the wrong area.

I think remaining in touch with fashion is vital to my emotional health. I don't mean that in an obsessed way but in an effort to avoid the "I am a zombie person wearing only t-shirts because the kids will either spit up on me or get me dirty so why bother" mindset. We need to be comfortable and we need to feel good too. I have found one key to me feeling I am not lost in the title of Mom is to buy a few shirts each season and to keep a fresh hair cut. It isn't perfect but at least I am still in the picture.

It is so easy to sit back and care for everyone but me. Having a balanced plan gives me permission to take care of me without feeling like "Oh, I should have bought something for the kids." I feel good about me and I feel good about my 'Mom-ness'. (And can I get an Amen or a Yippee for longer shirts being IN!!! Didn't you hate the belly shirt phase???? Especially while trying to wear maternity pants - the shirts showed the blue bands on the pants. Ick! Ick!! Ick! Loved the belly bump, just hated the blue maternity bands showing.)

Tricks of the trade when Daddy's away.

Business trip for Dad = full week for Mom. Not only because Dad is gone, but because I fill our schedule with more activities than normal too. On a normal day, when Dad is home, my kids begin asking 'When is Daddy coming home?' from about 4 pm on. So when Dad is out of town, I must keep them SOO busy that I do NOT hear 'When's Daddy coming home Mom?'

We have a few regular commitments during the week but I always eliminate the nap and add another activity for each day, when Dad's away. My hubby left on Sunday, so I did try to make Sunday a little more fun than usual, and I think I went a bit too far with my plans and locked us out of the house. That was a GREAT adventure! :) On Monday, we added a lunch date with friends that led to a play date at the park. Double fun! The rest of the week was more of the same. 'No, you do not need a nap today because.... we. are. going. to. the. park.' I am the hero for the week and the kids literally melt into bed. Talk about a win win!

Another thing I do when Daddy is away is make sure we have cooked our meals in bulk the weeks prior to his trip. That leaves me with only re-heating meals. Such a life saver!!! We've had leftover Roast, Chili, Vegetable Beef Soup, Chicken/Sausage Jambalaya, Sloppy Joe's, Chicken 'n Dumplins y'all, and Spaghetti. Not an exciting variety, but I didn't have to cook. :)

The kids love to make a special craft or color page for Dad (often they make him several). We work on their creation and put it on Daddy's desk so he can find it upon walking in the door. Unless it is super late, I let the kids stay up late to wait for Dad and we have an ice cream party or popcorn. Something special. My kids LOVE to hide from Daddy and let him seek them, so they get the thrill of him walking in the door.

This last time HC has known the day Daddy is coming home. So we have used our school calendar to remind her how far/near his return is. We put a special sticker on the date and she can see if we are closer to his arrival. The hardest part for me is getting good rest. I find it hard to fall asleep when hubby is away. By mid-week I am worn out (my kids are EARLY risers). But since I have prepared ahead of time, my week isn't nearly as tiring as it could have been.

What tricks work for you?

...all their toys are educational...all their snacks are multi-grain

A few weeks ago, I posted on my blog about competitions between moms:

"I have been more aware lately that there are lots of moms who feel like they have to keep a perfect house and their kids have to have perfect outfits, and they have to participate in an organized activity every day, etc. It seems like a competition, and I don't really understand how it got started.

"Stone Soup" got me thinking about this topic. Joan is lamenting about a fellow mom and says, "How do other women do it so effortlessly?" and "Her kids are totally Baby Einstein...all their toys are educational...all their snacks are multi-grain..."Does everyone's house stay immaculate all the time? Do we all cook healthy, organic homemade meals every night of the year?

Our house is not always clean, crumbs fall on the floor, laundry piles up. Sometimes I don't comb my son's hair. My kids do own cute outfits, but most of the time they dress themselves. Sometimes I wish I would be more assertive, like when my youngest son wears his orange t-shirt with the brown monkey on it which is WAY too small for the 1,000th time, but then again, who really cares? It's just a shirt. Isn't it?

The thing is, if anyone seems like they've got it all together and they never struggle, then they're just better at hiding it than most of us are."

I'm revisiting this topic today and wondering how many of us have put on the performance of being a perfect mom. Is it easier to join the competition than to step back from it? Do we have to compare ourselves to others or compare our kids to other kids?

I struggle with two things in particular (I had to narrow it down for this post- none of you would want to read my extensive list):

1. My house. I like to live in a clean house, particularly one with a clean floor. I admit that I spend too much time cleaning, and I clean extra before we have guests. I admit to the cleaning (I don't pretend it's always that clean, no one would believe me) but why do I do it? Just for appearances?

2. My temper. I would like others to think I never lose it. I would love to never get angry. Think how easy parenting would be if we never, ever became frustrated or irritated! That is my fantasy!! The fact is, my friends and family know I have a short fuse. They know I work hard at it, but I fail.

We all have unique gifts. We're all multi-tasking moms (not supermoms). We all love our kids! Why do moms compare/compete? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

The Big Picture...

As we are once again busy (as you all are) with activities and responsibilities and school, I was reminded this week of how much I like being a mom. I have tough days, tiring days like everyone, but the big picture is one of thankfulness. I think my own kids are fascinating (of course!) and sometimes marvel that I get to be their mom.

That said, I don't want to waste any time stressing about little things that don't really matter, like who forgot to do this, and why are they arguing about that sticker/toy, and where is your other shoe, and no, you can't have another snack... little things sometimes get in my way of remembering the big picture.

But, if I seek God's direction and keep the big picture in mind, the little things sometimes fade a bit as I remember what great children I have, and what a blessing they are. And suddenly the missing shoe or hundredth snack doesn't seem to bother me as all. I'm sure you all feel the same. Below are some quotes that hopefully will inspire/encourage you this weekend.

Thanks for visiting!





"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-Honore' de Balzac

"All mothers are working mothers."
-unknown

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
-Chinese Proverb

"A mother understands what a child does not say."
-unknown

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
- George Washington

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
-Abraham Lincoln

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
-Henry Ward Beecher

"A mother is someone who dreams great dreams for you, but then she lets you chase the dreams you have for yourself and loves you just the same."
-unknown