...all their toys are educational...all their snacks are multi-grain

A few weeks ago, I posted on my blog about competitions between moms:

"I have been more aware lately that there are lots of moms who feel like they have to keep a perfect house and their kids have to have perfect outfits, and they have to participate in an organized activity every day, etc. It seems like a competition, and I don't really understand how it got started.

"Stone Soup" got me thinking about this topic. Joan is lamenting about a fellow mom and says, "How do other women do it so effortlessly?" and "Her kids are totally Baby Einstein...all their toys are educational...all their snacks are multi-grain..."Does everyone's house stay immaculate all the time? Do we all cook healthy, organic homemade meals every night of the year?

Our house is not always clean, crumbs fall on the floor, laundry piles up. Sometimes I don't comb my son's hair. My kids do own cute outfits, but most of the time they dress themselves. Sometimes I wish I would be more assertive, like when my youngest son wears his orange t-shirt with the brown monkey on it which is WAY too small for the 1,000th time, but then again, who really cares? It's just a shirt. Isn't it?

The thing is, if anyone seems like they've got it all together and they never struggle, then they're just better at hiding it than most of us are."

I'm revisiting this topic today and wondering how many of us have put on the performance of being a perfect mom. Is it easier to join the competition than to step back from it? Do we have to compare ourselves to others or compare our kids to other kids?

I struggle with two things in particular (I had to narrow it down for this post- none of you would want to read my extensive list):

1. My house. I like to live in a clean house, particularly one with a clean floor. I admit that I spend too much time cleaning, and I clean extra before we have guests. I admit to the cleaning (I don't pretend it's always that clean, no one would believe me) but why do I do it? Just for appearances?

2. My temper. I would like others to think I never lose it. I would love to never get angry. Think how easy parenting would be if we never, ever became frustrated or irritated! That is my fantasy!! The fact is, my friends and family know I have a short fuse. They know I work hard at it, but I fail.

We all have unique gifts. We're all multi-tasking moms (not supermoms). We all love our kids! Why do moms compare/compete? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Well, How 'Bout That? I Like Gardening.

For years the mere mention of the words "garden" or "gardening" conjured up memories of worms and other creepy crawlers slithering in the lawn as I tried to pull a seemingly endless crop of weeds from my parents' back yard.

Because of those memories, I truly didn't mind the decade I spent after college as an apartment dweller. I was happy knowing that the only earth I would touch was the potting soil and herb seeds I placed in a couple of terra cotta herb pots my hubby and I received as a wedding gift.

Even when we moved in to our first home eight years ago I managed to avoid touching soil by hiring high school and college students to do the dirty work. I also hired someone to do most of the gardening and yard work last year after moving in to our current home.

After such good care given to the landscape by previous homeowners, I took it for granted that the tulips, daffodils, hyacinth and other plants, flowers and shrubs would always return. Little did I know that the early April snow storms would take their toll on the landscape. I could no longer ignore the dried leaves and dead branches that had accumulated in the flower bed.

I really didn't intend to clear the flower bed myself. I only meant to pick up a plastic grocery bag that had freed itself from a garbage can somewhere and landed on what I thought was a dead shrub. But I couldn't, for some reason, just stop with the plastic bag. I grabbed a rake and started clearing up all the dead branches and leaves. I was pleasantly surprised when I uncovered some new shoots that were hidden beneath the garbage.

For the two hours I was out there raking, digging, pulling weeds (and, yes, chasing after my adventurous son), I thought about my own life and whether there was any emotional garbage that needed to be cleared. I thought about the fears I have that are preventing me from showing my true self, and how good it will feel once those fears are gone. I thought about the very things I usually reserve for late night reflections.

When I stepped outside that afternoon, I certainly didn't expect to have a spiritual encounter. Now that I know how therapeutic gardening can be, I look forward to heading out there every day -- despite the fact that I saw a couple of really large creepy crawlers.


(Originally posted May 3, 2007, on Just Mom's Musings.)

The Big Picture...

As we are once again busy (as you all are) with activities and responsibilities and school, I was reminded this week of how much I like being a mom. I have tough days, tiring days like everyone, but the big picture is one of thankfulness. I think my own kids are fascinating (of course!) and sometimes marvel that I get to be their mom.

That said, I don't want to waste any time stressing about little things that don't really matter, like who forgot to do this, and why are they arguing about that sticker/toy, and where is your other shoe, and no, you can't have another snack... little things sometimes get in my way of remembering the big picture.

But, if I seek God's direction and keep the big picture in mind, the little things sometimes fade a bit as I remember what great children I have, and what a blessing they are. And suddenly the missing shoe or hundredth snack doesn't seem to bother me as all. I'm sure you all feel the same. Below are some quotes that hopefully will inspire/encourage you this weekend.

Thanks for visiting!





"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-Honore' de Balzac

"All mothers are working mothers."
-unknown

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
-Chinese Proverb

"A mother understands what a child does not say."
-unknown

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
- George Washington

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
-Abraham Lincoln

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
-Henry Ward Beecher

"A mother is someone who dreams great dreams for you, but then she lets you chase the dreams you have for yourself and loves you just the same."
-unknown

It was a day that changed our nation

As the memories from 6 years ago return today, may each of us remember and pray for all those affected by the events, six years ago, in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington DC.

I'm sure we can remember the moment when we heard about the attacks in NY and the planes down in PA and at the Pentagon.

I know we can still reach out to others, showing God's love for all. We can have faith and hope in Him and share His love with those around us. We need to fill our children with faith and love because we don't know what the future holds. We need to give them the hope and strength that only our Heavenly Father can comfort us with.

Moms - today, let us share how we can fill our children with love for others. What can we do today, in the lives of our children, to affect their future?

I know one way - to pray. If you haven't visisted this parent's prayer blog, please do - and pray together with us, for our children.

Let us remember those who gave their lives and let us never forget.

Mommy Moment ~ On Assignment from God

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

~Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)

As mothers, we have countless, daily opportunities to plant God’s Truth and Love in the hearts and souls of our children. God desires for us to cherish the little (and big) hearts of our children, as a gift from Him. As my children have grown from infants, I have taken this scripture verse to my heart and prayerfully asked God to give me a passion for keeping my children’s hearts. In my quiet times with Him, I have been led in discovering what Deuteronomy 6:6-7 commands us to do. The first thing I discovered was my own need for daily time in God’s Word. Prior to this, I routinely attempted to handle each day in my own strength. I often sent “prayer arrows” up to God asking for help, but I was not faithful in seeking God’s wisdom for each day. Giving my early morning time to the Lord gives me the guidance and strength I need to reflect the attributes of the Lord, disciple my children’s hearts and train them in the way they should go. Another foundation in my life to apply this scripture has been through prayer. Having three young children has me on my knees and seeking God’s guidance in all areas of life. It is during these moments of prayer that I cast my concerns, frustrations, prayer needs and desires to the Lord. I strive to humble my heart and confess any sin in my own walk so that I may intercede on behalf of my child. I ask God to touch my child’s heart and reveal Himself to them in a personal way. I also pray for their spiritual development, for future Christian spouses, for God’s will in their life and anything else the Lord lays on my heart. I can honestly say that when I am daily praying for my children, I see a marked difference in their heart attitude as compared to days I do not pray. God shows me in marvelous ways that He does hear and answer my prayers! We might not know this side of Heaven how our prayers have influenced the lives of our children, but we can be confident that God is working in and through them!

So, how did I learn to apply Deuteronomy 6:6-7 in our daily life? God showed me that He wanted me to reflect His joy, love and affection as I trained my children. For me, this meant enjoying them as the treasures that they are. They are unique people whom I love to spend my days with. I laugh at their funny antics, show genuine joy with their presence in my life and lend kindness in my words and by my actions. I share with my children the majesty of God as we discover the beauty all around us. My husband and I strive to train them in God’s commandments through family devotions and Bible readings. They have plenty of opportunities to practice loving others first. They learn obedience in the home, which will mature to obedience in the Lord. Most importantly, I believe that my children will see our passionate love for God and will embrace His love for them as well.

As I was cleaning my young son’s room yesterday, I found a beautifully detailed coloring page that he created. I was moved to tears as I realized the picture was of him, holding a kite on a beautiful sunny day. Written on his kite was the name, “Jesus.” My heart rejoiced and praised the Lord for this Mommy Moment. It was a much needed glimpse of how God is working in the hearts of my precious children, May you be inspired today as you live out your own assignment from God ~ the job is not easy, but we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength we need (Philippians 4:13).

I've Found Heaven, And It's Called Laundry

Yes. You read the title of this post correctly, and no, I haven't lost my mind. On the contrary, I think I've found a slice of heaven.

Oh, sure, there was a time (i.e. before child) when I hated doing laundry. I would instead let the laundry pile up until I ran low on undergarments just so I could read one more chapter in my book, write one more entry in my journal or just putter around the house. I still let the laundry pile up, but I do it so I can have some quiet time.

Take yesterday, for example. My hubby was at home, grading finals, and was therefore able to keep an eye on our son while I "set up shop" in our basement family room. I took with me a tall glass of raspberry iced tea, set up the ironing board and iron in front of the TV and tuned in to HGTV. I hung out downstairs while load after load was washed and dried, and then I did the ironing.

For 2 1/2 hours it was just me, my thoughts, my tea and a few really expensive seaside homes -- on TV, of course. As I ironed I dreamed of one day owning a home that overlooks the ocean. Each puff of steam from my iron became the various features this home would have: large windows, a grand open staircase, a massive kitchen with center island, a large library. You know, all the essentials in life. ;-) I thought about whether this home would be in Ireland, Oregon or Hawaii; about whether it would be Edwardian, Mediterranean or, heck, a mansion. I didn't care.

Do you know what was the best part about this experience? Unlike in "real life" I can control the volume in my basement hideaway. I love my family dearly, but a girl's gotta have time to daydream, right?

Yes, it was pure bliss. I think next time I'll take an umbrella drink with me and really relax.

-- Originally posted by Just Mom on May 16, 2007.

Loose Change

Tonight I found loose change in the pocket of my little boy’s shorts. I was putting laundry on to wash, and when I lifted up his tiny denim shorts, I found that they jingled. Oh, the pain this discovery brought to my heart, but a smile to my face, too. He’s growing up. He’s big enough to stuff change and who knows what else into his own little pocket.

I remember when I had this same feeling about my first daughter. After a busy day playing outside, a bath, some reading and cuddling time I tucked her in bed. When I returned to the living room later, I found her tiny white Keds askew on the floor. She had taken off her own shoes and left them in the floor. At the time it touched my heart much as the change in the pockets did tonight. Now, I’m not so touched when I find her flip flops left where she walked out of them.

They continue to reach those milestones that let me know they are changing, growing up. Sometimes there’s a slight sadness that they no longer need me for one thing, but I know they still need me for other things.

For example, I know now I’m needed to check the little boy’s pockets when I do the wash.

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