Jewelry & Romance!

Do you have any creative ideas for making time for quality time with your husband?

My husband tends to be a loner, so time can fly before we notice that it's been awhile since we've had a conversation that did not include logistics of some sort - what time for dinner, which painter to hire, discipline issues and the like. I'm sure (well, hopefully!) you can relate.

Here are my 2 tips:

1. Pay attention to what actually matters to your husband and focus on those things. I had to ask. My husband likes to have home-cooked meals and to always have a clean shirt for work. He can handle the chaos a lot better if those 2 things happen. Those 2 things make him feel cared for, so I try my best to make those things a priority. It makes such a difference.

2. Work on the kids' bedtime not being a struggle, and get them in bed on the early side of what works with your evening routine. It's worth the discipline it takes to not have a huge struggle at bedtime - it makes the evening more pleasant for everyone and gives you time with your hubby after the kids go to bed.

So, obviously, this is an area I could use a little advice myself. I also need some interesting and fun questions to answer. And, maybe, just maybe - you would like something fun for YOURSELF! Maybe for your next night out with your husband?

So, here is my proposition - are you ready? 'Cause you could win this! Isn't it BEAUTIFUL? It's from Susan at Bead-attitude. Be sure to check out her other beautiful jewelry here.


Here's how to to enter to win this necklace and earrings:
1. Post about your most romantic time with your husband since your kids came into your life. Please mention that you would like to win the necklace from Bead-attitude with a link to her site, and include a link back to this post so others can find more romantic moments.
2. Come back and add your link to your "romantic" post to Mr. Linky.
3. Leave a comment with a question for "Wednesdays with WeaverMom"

It's easy! And fun! And you could win jewelry!

I'll get the ball rolling with my romantic moment:

We don't have family nearby - in fact, our closest family is a solid 20 hour drive away. True date nights are a little rare. Recently, a good friend of mine had a hard drive crash with the only copy of her pictures of her baby son on it. My computer wizard husband recovered all but 2 of the pictures. Isn't he great? :) She wanted to repay him with an evening of babysitting, but because of her baby, she asked if we could bring the kids to her house.

So, we said no. NOT! We actually said, "Which night works for you?" :) We contemplated going to dinner. Going to a movie! Going to the bookstore -without kids!

But, we ended up coming back home. And it was wonderful. Home. Alone. Together. For the first time in six years. It was odd. Different. QUIET!

Here is a picture of our nice dinner: (The plastic cup makes it super fancy - don't ya think?)


We both thought it was the best date we've had - possibly ever. Definitely since the kids were born.

Is it wrong to pray for friend's hard drives to crash? (*wink* LOL!)

Your turn!

BEING A WIFE & MOTHER and building a strong MARRIAGE

Hi ! My name is Susan and I blog as Penless Writer.

I am honored to have been asked to be a Guest Commentator for Multi-Tasking Mom's. I begin by quoting a past Pastor of ours who use to say "Commentators are nothing but Common Taters"!!!! I think I easily fall into that category.


When first asked to participate my reaction was, "It's been so long since I've been an active, hands on Mom I'm not sure I qualify". On further reflection, I believe living so many years (69), active mothering for over 35 of those years, being a grandmother for 21 years, and being just Mickey & I as Empty Nester's for the past 18 years I do have something to say.


Any of you who read my blog know that I am the mother of 4 adult children and that there is a 15 year age span between my first born and my fourth born. This explains why I held the active mothering position for those 35 years. It also explains why I have granddaughters 21 and 12 years old and a grandson 8 years old. You also know that we are a very close-knit family.

All this mothering experience aside I am going to comment on
BEING A WIFE & MOTHER and building a strong MARRIAGE.

I believe strongly in the family. The family is the first institution God set up. It all began when God created Eve to be a help mate for Adam. God created her to complete him. That's an awesome thought isn't it? Adam was not complete by himself alone. I believe our first, and most important role and love, after God and Jesus, is to be our husband.

We are first husband and wife and we will be husband and wife long after the children are gone from the home.
I have seen too many woman take their role of mother and motherhood to such a degree that it becomes the center of their world. Consequently the husband is pushed off to the side and into second place. They begin to live separate lives to a certain extent. The woman is concentrating all her time and effort on the children, with the husband on the side lines. The man is concentrating all his time and effort on his job. They begin to grow in separate and different ways. The wonderful husband-wife connection, which started it all, starts to fade.

My strong feelings in this regard came even before I was married or had children. I had two very loving parents and grew up in a good Christian home where I was taught good moral values, responsibility, truthfulness, hard work, etc. The one thing my family lacked was my parents lived two separate lives to a great extent. I determined, at a very early age, I wanted a marriage where my husband and I had a lot in common and were a strong family unit.

Over the years I've seen far to many mothers that have centered their lives on the children front and center. Then when the children are grown you find two adults looking at each other and saying, "Who are you? I don't know you any more. What happened to the love, fun, excitement we use to have?" The children leave and you have two strangers living together who do not share common interests or goals any longer.

So be sure to keep that guy you fell in love with front and center throughout your child rearing years. When you do this you will share a wonderful, full, exciting, "empty nest" life together.

Now, having said all this......I also have to add that.....ONCE A MOTHER ALWAYS A MOTHER. I tell my kids this ALL the time and they know it well. They are as important to me now, as adults, as they were when they were small children growing and finding out who they were and who they were becoming.

It truly is a balancing act....It's important not to fall in the ditch on either side of the road. Just remember to keep things balanced and not push either your children or your husband off to the side. Always remembering that JESUS CHRIST is the most important person to keep front and CENTER.
********************
Just one more comment, from this "common tator".
If you are a single-mom, as I once was, I have this advice.

When another man comes waltzing into your life your first concern has to be making sure he will be the kind of father you want to help raise your children. When Mickey & I were "dating" most of those "dates" revolved around doing things with and for my two little girls. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, Mickey would be a wonderful father. Almost 49 years later I am here to tell you he lived up to all my expectations.

As a single-mom your first priority has to be to those children whether that means raising them by yourself or finding that right husband and FATHER.
BUT once you decide to entrust yourself and your children into the love and care of another man you must NEVER, and I mean NEVER EVER say anything like "Leave MY kids alone" or "Don't treat MY kids like that". This is of course UNLESS there is being physical harm done to them.....that's a whole different thing. But I'm talking about just establishing and making a good, caring, loving family.

When he marries you and takes on the responsibility for the love and care of you and your kids you become a "family" and the word "ME or MINE" has to be set aside forever. If there are disputes about the discipline of the children you must never discuss that in front of the children. Rather, later, in a private setting between the two of you discuss with him then, "I don't think you should have......." or "I think you were being to hard on......" This is good advise for all marriages. Put up one standard to the children at all times.

Being a Wife

My name is Tarrah and I just wanted to start off by telling you a little about my husband & I. I am from Washington state (close to Seattle) and this is where I met the man I would later marry. We met on June 14, 1999. I remember how amazing his eyes were & how sweet & laid back of a man he was.

Now I came from a broken up family, my parents divorced when I was in elementary school and we never had any other family in the same state as us. Sam's family is very large and pretty much everyone is still married. So as a young couple we new nothing about being married, we just knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other.

Almost a year after being married we moved from San Diego to the East Coast. I know what your thinking, what a huge difference. But we wanted to be closer to his family and we felt the Lord calling us over here. When we finally settled in Vermont we found a church and joined a married couples bible study. To this day, we both still talk about that study and what it did for our relationship. We were the youngest couple, everyone else had been married for 5 - 25 years, and oh what knowledge they had. There was one couple that was a real blessing for us, when we are going through something we still look back on their relationship & remember some of the things they told us. One of those things was this:

Wake up each day and pray about what you could do that day

to honor & respect your spouse

They were an amazing couple! They had been married for somewhere around 10 years and they seemed to still be newly weds. We wanted to be just like them throughout our marriage.

But oh how that was not the case for a little while. We went through some rough times. We had a child, didn't have enough time to spend with each other, had differences and didn't know how to talk about them, financial issues, and just time trying to really get to know each other and accept each other for how we are.

I think right now, where we are after almost 6 years of marriage, we are more in Love than we have ever been. I thank the Lord for this time of growth, for putting people in our lives (good & bad) who have been an example to us.

God has given me such a huge desire to be the best wife I can be to my husband! This has been on my heart very heavily this past year and what a difference it has been in our relationship. The man is the head of the household and provides for his family in many different ways. And us as wives & mothers, we provide a warm & welcome home, a place where the family is taken care of and feels comfortable, we make our home a home.

Here is a list of things that have been a focus of mine as a wife and a stay at home mother. These are also some things that my husband has told me he is very thankful for. There are also a couple resources that have been a blessing for us as a married couple:

In our second year of marriage we attended a Weekend to remember conference put on by Family Life. If you have not heard of this conference or have not yet attended one, I highly recommend it. We had not had children yet and it was still such a wonderful weekend. We hope to go to one again soon.

I work very hard to make my home a warm, welcoming, happy place for my husband to come home to. I think all too often we forget that they have also worked all day and we just think of how hard & long of a day we have had with the kids. I am too often guilty of this. I get jealous that he gets to leave and go to work and I cant wait for him to get home so I can hand off the kids to him & try to get stuff done for myself. I have really stepped back & realized that they work just as hard, if not harder sometimes. They are called to provide for their family, that is a huge calling to have on yourself. Here are some ways to do this:

* No matter how hard of a day you have had, greet him at the door with a smile and a hug, ask him about his day & don't forget to listen

* Don't throw the kids at him right away, I truly believe men need a few moments to gather their thoughts when they get home. I have also found that by doing this, they will start to need less & less time to gather those thoughts and will be right there with the kids.

* Home cooked meals! The way to a man's hear is through his stomach. When he is not home at night I slack in the dinner department but if he is going to be home I make sure he has a good meal to eat.

* Don't forget that men love machinery & tools. To mow the lawn, work on cars, chopping wood, doing projects outside. These are things that make them feel good and make them feel like they are taking care of their home, it doesn't mean they don't want to spend time with you. Jump in there and work with him or just sit in the area with the kids to keep him company. My husband has told me many times how much he appreciates that.

* I give my husband little lists to do around the home, like fixing things, and he is one of those wonderful husbands that gets it done right away for me. He tells me all the time that he wants to make those things a priority for me because I take care of the home for him.

* Ask your husband if he needs anything or if you could do anything for him. He may not need anything and you may need a lot, but after a while you will see a huge difference.

* Flirt with him. They love a quick kiss as your passing eachother or a quick pat on the butt :). And don't forget to tell him you love him.

* Pray for him! A friend of mine got me a book a while back & it is my absolute favorite. The Power of a Praying Wife touches many different areas to pray about for your husband. She is amazing at describing men and how the bible tells us to pray for them. She gives at least 10 bible verses about each subject and she has a written prayer at the end of each. It has really made me pay more attention to how my husbands thoughts & feelings work. It's also great to go back to every day and pray for certain areas that I feel led to pray about.

* Another book I highly recommend is Night Light by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson. It is a devotional book to do with your husband. It has prompted many different conversations and guided us through how to discuss them. This has really helped us each talk to each other more before little things get too big.

If you are at all in a hard place with your spouse, I pray that there will be quick healing. God is an awesome God & can heal the worst of situations. Look to him in all situations, find a mentor couple or a group of married couples. It is amazing when you can work through the hard times & see how much you have grown together as a couple & family.

If you have any other thoughts or great resources you would like to share, please leave us a comment, we would love to hear them.

God Bless